On Turning 35

I’m 35 today.

I was thinking yesterday about my last milestone birthday. I took a vacation to Hawaii with some friends. It was an awesome way to celebrate 30. But one of the reasons I decided to take a trip was so that I wasn’t disappointed with whatever people did (or didn’t) do for my birthday. So that I didn’t sit around thinking about the fact that I was turning 30 and still very much single.

Ahem. So. It blows my mind how quickly things change.

When I returned to work after that trip, there was a bucket of white daisies on my desk. No card. No name. Just some flowers. I racked my brain to think of who might have brought them. I even wondered if (okay … pretended) they were from this guy that I had met at work and started hanging out with occasionally. I finally decided it was likely my supervisor. She and I had a good relationship and I had shared with her my desire to get married and some of my dating woes. And she was always doing thoughtful stuff like that.

And then I blinked and it was five years later.

A husband. Two kids. A whole new life where I worry about things like not blowing the grocery budget and packing enough diapers and snacks for the day. Sometimes when I think back to Hawaii and turning 30, for a moment I miss my single life. But only for a moment. Because I distinctly remember what it was like living with the ever-present uncertainty of whether I’d ever find the right guy. And finding the elusive balance between authentically embracing my desire to be married and finding true contentment in being single.

For my birthday this year, I’m spending it enjoying this beautiful gift God has given me over the past five years. This morning my husband took me and the kiddos out to breakfast. (One of my favorite things to do. Also one of his not-so-favorite.) In a few minutes, I’m off to happy hour for some adult beverages and conversation with good girlfriends. Then later Chris and I are going on a date.

Out to breakfast, happy hour and a date. Kids, friends and hottie husband. I honestly can’t think of a way I’d rather spend my 35th birthday.

Oh. One last thing. The daisies were from that guy I was dreaming about. He wasn’t sure how I was feeling about a relationship at the time, so he only claimed them later on.