The Dumbest Thing I’ve Ever Done

I was supposed to have foot surgery today.

And it’s not my first rodeo, so you’d think I’d know the routine…

• Make plans for help taking care of the kids for the first few days my recovery. Check.
• Make a lot of big meals so the fridge is stuffed with leftovers. Check.
• Get super nervous the night before. Check.
• Shave my legs since I’ll be in a boot for a month. Check.
• Take out my nose ring and take off my rings. Check.
• Don’t eat or drink anything for 12 hours before. Oh shit.

Thirty minutes before we were going to walk out the door for my 1:45 PM surgery, I looked at the pamphlet that they’d given me. (Which, incidentally, I had stuffed in my purse and carried around for weeks.) I totally panicked when I read “Do NOT eat any solid foods on the day of your surgery.” I realized that not only had I grabbed a few bites of the kids’ oatmeal as I was getting them breakfast that morning, but in what can only be described as The Dumbest Thought I’ve Ever Had In My Life, I thought I’ll probably be hungry so I should probably eat a little something before I go and proceeded to eat some leftover meatloaf and mashed potatoes. An hour before surgery.

Awesome.

So. Now I have to wait until tomorrow to see if it can be rescheduled. And here I sit, beating myself up for how incredibly stupid I was. When my judgment, which is usually aimed at others, is suddenly reflected in a mirror, it’s pretty horrible.

The lady at my doctor’s office voiced what I assume most people might think when I called to tell her and she said incredulously, “Why would you do that?” Lady, you have no idea.

So, in an effort to salvage something from this experience, I’ve thought of a few lessons learned.

1. Stop judging other people. Just stop it. I AM one of those people.
2. Read pamphlets. ALWAYS. Even ones I’ve seen twice before.
3. Slow down in life. Take more deep breaths. Focus. The world is not going to leave me behind.
4. Appreciate my husband’s unbelievable grace and understanding. Every single day. That man is a gift.

There you have it. Quite possibly the dumbest thing I’ve ever done in my life.

Now, don’t you feel pretty smart?