Unemployment Eve

Welp, this is it. Today is my last day at work. I’m sad. And also excited. And also terrified. And also hopeful.

Obviously it’s a very confusing time to be me.

I am trying to figure out how to do life without the structure of a job. How do I know what I’m “supposed to do” with no one else setting my routine? You’d think the idea that I can literally do whatever I want with my time would be freeing … but it’s freaking me out.

No boss. No one to report to. No one to go to with questions. No one to be accountable to. No one to check in on me.

If I’m being honest, I’m kind of afraid of being my own boss.

I have no illusions that I won’t have anything to do. In fact, there are many things that get perpetually put off because “I have work to do.” [And yes, at times, that includes my kids.] Dirty toilets and mountainous laundry baskets and meal planning and grocery shopping and furniture painting and working out and picking up all the things … I’ve got plenty to do.

But structure, time management, planning, goal setting, organization … those are not my strengths. So when I think about figuring out how to make the best use of my time and not waste these days and make the most of this season, I feel a bit overwhelmed.

I’ve been listening to the Dream Big podcast by Bob Goff. (Speaking of dreaming big … can I please have lunch with him someday?) I’m reading a few books.

I’ve been dreaming about dreaming for a while. But the actual dreaming … that’s a whole new ball game.

Here are a few things I do know right now…

  1. I thrive on regular contact with people.
  2. I crave deep and connected relationships.
  3. I’m not great at being present in the moment when I’m trying to juggle too much. [Which has pretty much been my life for 11 years. And which is why I believe God has invited me to put some of the clubs down.]
  4. I want to write more … but I think maybe that’s just for me.
  5. I am curious what might surprise me if I create space for the Holy Spirit.

That’s pretty much what I got. Five things.

So, first up on the agenda for Day 1 of unemployment is … Make a Plan.

Structure my dreaming schedule. Create some guardrails. Identify a measuring stick. Schedule some regular check-in times with my boss (ahem … myself.) Check in with my boss’s boss (er … God.) Oh and schedule lunch with Bob Goff.

I got this. NBD.

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