It’s the last day of 2013 and I really, really want to write a post. I have a lot of other things on my to do list today but for now they wait.
Big moments of 2013 … let’s see. There were a couple milestone birthdays. My son turned one and I turned 35.
Then there was the time we almost moved to Portland.
Cara started preschool.
We took a road trip to Iowa.
I started working at our church. We remodeled our bathroom. My sister and her family moved here.
So there you have our year in a small, neat little paragraph. We have the perfect little Facebook family, don’t we?
That’s the story the pictures tell.
But then there’s the real one … the one the pictures don’t show.
How do you capture severe depression or overwhelming fear or uncontrollable rage in a photo? Who takes pictures of potty training accidents and changing bed sheets three times a day? No one wants to relive three-year-old tantrums and public meltdowns, both child and adult.
These screaming, crying, yelling moments were the real 2013. The one no one else knows.
So how do I remember this year? It was both good. And also bad. And really, really hard.
But when I take a step back and look at the big picture, I see God. I see that because we stayed here instead of moving, God connected us to an amazing counselor who is fully invested in helping us revive our marriage and deal with our struggles with depression, anger, anxiety and fear. I see that we belong to a church that has been a safe place for us, a source of support and encouragement, and now a new income. I see us living within a few blocks of family who loves us and will do anything for us.
As 2014 dawns tomorrow, I’m hopeful. My hope comes from knowing that God is writing a story – one bigger than both the one the pictures tell and the one they don’t.
These Words of Mine 
I loved this post, Becky! I love when you write! Your authenticity is encouraging and points to God. Thank you for your words sweet friend 🙂
I love your post. You have captured the reality of life, the good, the bad and the ugly. I stopped and prayed your hope flourishes in 2014 and you and Chris will understand yourselves, each other and God more clearly through your journey through the slough of despondency and the help your getting.
Thank you, Marilyn, for your comment, and especially for your prayers! It means so much to me that we are a part of such an encouraging, supportive church where we get to do life with amazing people like you!
Thanks, Brianne.
Thanks for sharing. I love facebook pictures and how they are not realistic at all. We had all those tantrums, yelling, accidents, counseling, etc. this year as well. Will be praying for you and your family!!!!
Thank you, Kristina. 🙂
Thank you for being real, Becky.
And thank you for not giving up when it’s hard, but being willing to call it hard and work toward restoration. We all need examples of that to give us hope and keep us going. I know we do in our marriage and family life.
Know that i am praying with you.
Great post Becky…thank you for your transparent heart. Love your perspective, so refreshing.
When our son turned one, we also had counseling. IT was a blessing and strengthened both our marriage and family. Life is hard – God is oh so good.
Thinking of you here in NM
I miss you Sarah! I think of you often. Hope you are well .
Oh, Becky, I didn’t realize things had been so tough. It is way too easy for us to assume good things from fb pics. And the realities that we don’t talk about are tough. I’m glad you were real, and I pray that God’s blessings are big in your life in 2014 as you cling to Him, the author and finisher of all our blogs.
Thanks Elaine. 🙂