A newish friend I don’t know too well told me she binge read my blog the other night. All the way back to before I was married.
She was moving her family across the country the next day to be with her newly widowed mom. Her dad died a few days prior of Multiple Myeloma – the same cancer that took my dad.
I feel this incredibly sad and strong connection to her because of that shared experience. Had it not been for my blog, we never would have figured out we had that connection.
And I started thinking about how much I missed writing.
I realized the other day that that it was almost exactly a year ago that Chris moved out. While that event marked the darkest period we’ve had in our marriage, I suddenly realized that somewhere in the last 12 months, things shifted. I literally have no idea how this happened. And it was so gradual that no one noticed. But when I look back to a year ago, we’re not even in the same orbit.
Maybe it’s the 10-year-old marriage. “Us” is growing up. Our marriage is no longer a child, but now a pre-teen.
But I’m not sure the passage of time is the reason.
This past spring, Chris and I both attended retreats that were incredibly life-changing. We walked away from them with personal identity statements, missions and a new common language. We are excited to figure out how our identities and missions fit together. And we are better able to be each other’s biggest advocate and cheerleader. (If you want to know more, ask me. I’d love to tell you about it.)
So figuring out who we are and why we are was something very significant. But I’m still not sure that’s entirely the reason for the shift.
Maybe it’s impossible to narrow it down to a specific reason, but all I can say for sure is that something definitely happened.
Oh and then there’s this … we are about to embark on a major home renovation. This has been more than three years in the planning. It’s been a dream for more years than that but there’s no way a project like this could have happened a year ago. The stress absolutely would have broken us.
But now here we are and the timing feels right.
I’m off to the mountains this weekend with 60 other women from our church. A retreat with the theme of REST. Good thing, because when I come back on Sunday night, we empty the entire kitchen for the renovation that begins the following morning.
We’ll be cooking out of the garage. Living off pizza and paper plates. Thank the Lord for the Instant Pot.
This post is meandering and a bit unfocused, but I figure if I’m going to start writing again I better …you know … start writing.
Plus, we’re coming into another election season and since I’ve permanently banned myself from engaging in anything political on social media, I need a place to express myself.
So, maybe you’ll hear a bit more from me. Who knows?
Or maybe all my time will be consumed washing dishes in the bathtub.